Stupid Diets

My Facebook status the other day:
"Sunset Coffee Date slash Talkshow with Jessica Belenson. Our episode for today Ladies and Gentlemen: SWIMSUITS, BELLY FATS AND THE FEW REMAINING DAYS DAYS OF SUMMER 2011. Let's skip dinner nalang, yes?"

We were just skimming through our friends' facebook accounts, and feasted on their summer pictures wearing bikinis. Some people are just born to not grow fat. Unfortunately, we dont belong to that group. We had to die at a diet first before we lose at most 5 lbs. Sad, but that's how the world works. And I coin a line in Desiderata: "...for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself".

There was a point back then when dieting was part of my everyday commitments. If you think Mariah's MORSEL DIET is ridiculous, my God, you havent seen mine yet. These, by far, are the weirdest diets I undertook, and how I went about it. Note: These are all based on real-life situations of yours truly: There will be No sugar-coating, No-exaggerations on any parts of these stories.

The Gummy-Bear and Coffee Diet. I always remember my friend Bayette when I talk about this diet. She was there when I passed out after finishing an exam. I had this in college, back in the time when I weighed roughly 200 lbs. I was HUGE. This involves drinking coffee (black) in the morning, and then a pack of gummy bears to be consumed the whole day. I end the day with another cup of coffee.

The Pearl White Diet. Self-explanatory: you just have to take Pearl White pills-- 2 pills a day. This was very effective, I lost about 30lbs, and didnt have the urge to eat ANYTHING. But just like any other diet pills, you cant have it for the rest of your life, and one day I noticed that my eyes were yellowing. I stopped.

The Skyflakes Diet. Self-explanatory. You just eat 3 packs of Skyflakes a day, and lots and lots of water. I didnt want to have this diet, but when my Dad got hospitalized, I ran out of money and was in so much debt that I had to sacrifice my meals to buy him medicine. The rest of the family had the same "diet", too. My ex then got worried because I would go home gaunt, pale and weak. Hello, a pack of Skyflakes is about 120 calories, even Superman would die in a week eating just that. It was effective, the belly fats went away, but my face looked weird--- dark circles around the eyes, and my skin was unusually dark. In short, construction worker look.

The Eat Breakfast Like a King Diet. Blame it on Cosmo and Men's Health. They say the right way to do it is to consume 80% of your daily calorie consumption on breakfast, and the remaining 20% you spread thoughout the day. It didnt last. I'm not a morning person. I ate too much lunch, and too much dinner, I gained like 10 lbs in 2 months.

Brazillian Coffee Diet. This was killer. I had this November-December last year when a lot of shows were lined up and the pressure to get thin was as tangible as a big yellow bus parked in my forehead. My band manager bluntly said, "Keith, you have to scale down or else I'd be forced to look for another male singer". BAD. I recall my friend Camille selling Brazilian Coffee. The boxes had all these Chinese characters, it smelled weird, didnt taste like coffee at all, and I had to drink 2 cups of it everyday. It was effective--- after a day, I lost the urge to eat carbs. But my work was so physically demanding that I started to have panoramic visions. No kidding. And I had migraines. Worst, I lost my sexual urges. After a week, I stopped.

The 10-Day Fat Flush. Yes--- BEYONCE! It was Beyonce who made this all so possible for the common tao when she grazed the screen in almost-skin-and-bones perfection as Deena Jones in Dreamgirls. I tried it after a year, when my friend and I were shopping and we came across a bottle of organic grade A maple syrup and she asked me what it's for and I said "Fat-flush". It was a stupid lightbulb moment coz the next thing we knew, were both scouring the aisles for cayenne pepper and lemons. This diet involves drinking a cayenne pepper, lemon and grade A maple syrup concoction for 10 days and you lose 10lbs. I only went as far as 4 days. It was so hard. On the 4th day, I started to see black-and-white circa 1950s silent-type movie Mickey Mouse images everywhere. I felt drugged.

The GM Diet. Now I think this one's effective. It worked for a lot of my gay friends after the Holiday Season. You are only allowed to eat a certain kind of food for a day. Example, Monday-- fruits only. Tuesday-- vegetables only. Thursday, banana and eggs-something. It didnt work for me. I tried it like 3 times, i would go so hungry on the 2nd day.

The Apple Diet. One of my gay friends told me: "Bakla, everytime gusto ko pumayat, kakain lang ako ng apple--- apple lang from Monday to Friday, at pagdating ng Saturday, payat na ako ulit". It struck me like a thunderbolt so I tried it myself. Nah, didnt work. After a year I found out that he was just kidding. Baklaaaaa! :)


So there. Looking back, I realized I did a lot of bad things to my system. Some of them may have worked for me in the past, but hey, Im not getting any younger. Eating right should just be the simplest solution.

How 'bout you? Any stupid diet stories to share? :)

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You

One of my biggest challenges as we speak is my need to stop smoking. I have been smoking since college (I'm not a chain-smoker though), but I consume about 4-6 sticks a day. Now that's alarming. I am not getting any younger, and I have vowed time and again to live healthy as much as I could. I do regular exercise, I monitor my weight, my fat intake and all the works, but something just feels off when I am reminded that I still haven't conquered my love for smoking. I just wanna quit now, as in now. I have attempted many times, in fact I lost count already.

And at this stage I have already noticed a few changes in my voice. I don't want to lose the whistle register completely. I still want to keep it for as long as I'm alive. The fact that I sing for a living should make me want to quit smoking the soonest. But how?

The Moon Is Beautiful. My No-Lovelife Lovelife Sucks.

I was jogging at the Ayala grounds last night, it was around 8PM when I started to do my warm-ups and stretches. I looked up and saw the moon in its utter perfection I thought I was looking at a huge perfectly Photoshoped image right above the sky.

It was BEAUTIFUL and ROMANTIC and I HATED it. That sight reminded me of lovers kissing and stargazing till they go tired. I've never had that since, I dunno, I couldn’t even remember anymore. I've been single and celibate for a long time now that I'm starting to forget the taste of a kiss, or watching the moon with someone holding my hand. Sucks right?

Anyway, I was glancing at the moon half the time I was jogging. It looked so pretty and strange that I started to wonder if it was some sort of astronomical phenomenon that I never heard of. I googled stuff up as soon as I got home and I was amazed that some people were quick enough to upload pictures of it already plus some weird-sounding scientific information (that I skipped without mercy).

It was called an occultation, and the bright thing above the crescent moon was the Planet Venus. For those who have seen it, consider yourself lucky coz it was only visible on the areas between Sumatra and the Philippines, and the next phenomenon will not be in until August 13, 2012.

Photo source: http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs352.snc3/29195_394343044508_662234508_3849275_786298_n.jpg

LET IT GO!!!

I got this really really nice article from one of my former superiors, and I found it so touching. I want to share this to you now---

LETTING GO
By T.D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead...

You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something... I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift; I believe in good-bye... It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ...

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it', then you need to...

LET IT GO!!!

Spooky Night

It was a very boring weekend and I got a call from Jason inviting me to have our usual Tanduay sessions at my place. I instantly said yes coz I just woke and I knew for a fact that my brain would be active for the next 12 hours. Besides, we've never done this since all the drama that we had last December.

We kicked off with a bottle of lapad, and then followed by two more. I've always been such a loser when it comes to alcohol tolerance coz I'm never really a fan of drinking to begin with. On our thrid bottle, things started to get really fun.

But at around 4am, the light in my room started to flicker, and then it went off as if the wires were cut or something. What makes it more spooky is the fact that Jason has this 3rd-eye thingie, and that he can see spirits everywhere. Back when we were still living under one roof, he used to tell me about this lady-spirit in our bathroom and some elves in our kitchen. If that doenst make you freak out then I don’t know what the hell you're made of.

Anyways, the light completely went off, and we could hear some really creepy sounds outside. He said that he felt 3 entities, but he wasn’t sure if they were spirits or engkantos.

I'd like to think that it was just the alcohol, but my God I could totally feel all the hairs in my body raise. As we started to joke around, we started to hear the weird sounds outside go louder.

Weird. I guess it's time to look for another room for rent.

Goodbye, Fitness

I finally had my exit interview at Fitness First today. I thought it was gonna be hard letting go but everything went well. I haven't said my goodbyes yet to those friends and people that I have been doing group classes with for the past 4 years. I spent a lot of time in the gym yesterday just relishing the moment. I was part of the facility for a long time and I cant believe I'm transferring to a different gym soon.

I will surely miss the group classes, and the people, and the machines, and my crushes, and the sauna.

I am leaving Fitness for a lot of reasons but primarily because I want some change. I figured that the main reason why I slacked is because I already found so much comfort in the place that I would sometimes mix gym with relaxation and pleasure, and I think it is wrong. I would sometimes just go to the gym to have coffee, of hit the sauna, or take a long shower, or just laugh with friends. I should stay focused. 2010 for me should be about focus.

If I want things to change, then change should come from me. It's the little steps you take today that would define the changes you want to achieve in the future.

Goodbye, FF!

What For?

I got a series of emails from my fellow alumna from the University of the Philippines about the news of UP High School's closure. I have heard of this news years ago so I wasn't really surprised. As a graduate from this university, I certainly think I should my share of concern.

I would like to hear both sides of the story, but honestly, I don't think there is a need to abolish the Professional Education Division.

What for? Education is for all--- it is a right, not a privilege.

I'll be done with this phase, I'll be fine soon. I hope.

As expected, the first week in the office (and even with my part-time work) isnt heavy at all. My programs have officially ended as the year 2009 closed, and I am just trying to polish up on some unfinished businesses that I worked on during the last days of December.

I am back in the gym. I found myself taking weight loss seriously again as I have, for the past 3 days now, spent like 2 or 3 hours working out. I hope this is not just a phase. I haven't really listed down my resolutions for 2009, but if I had done it, for sure going back to the gym is on top of the list.

My 2010 resolutions will come out at a different blog. I am still undecided on things. I don't want to vow on something I could not achieve.

I feel really sleepy now, I've been losing sleep for the past 3 days. I find it unusual to sleep without my partner (or shall I say ex-partner) beside me. It's been 3 days and I haven't heard of anything, and I'm dead worried.

I'll be done with this phase, I'll be fine soon. I hope.

Adopt Me?

I went to Manila over the weekend to do some stuff and came back to Cebu Sunday afternoon.

Alone.

I had no choice but to call a few friends to adopt me coz I got so bored around 9pm.

I had coffee with JJ and Marie, lit a few sticks and engaged into some nice conversation to while away the time. I think everyone like me who works hard for 5 straight days would truly deserve to enjoy a warm cup of coffee and some awesome friends to spend time with at a nice rooftop café overlooking a pretty part of the city.

We drove a few blocks to scout for DVD stores. I found myself the perfect weekend movie.

my reasons to quit always outnumber my reasons to start something noble

Sunday sermon was great.

Perseverance.

If there is something that I'm always guilty of, it is the fact that I have this bad habit of starting things and not having the perseverance to finish it. I always get so afraid halfway, and the worst part is, the temptation to quit is something that always attracts me. I have lost count on the things that I started, some actions that I have pursued, and plans that I have started that I never ever get to finish because I either get too afraid, or just get tired about it and do something else.

It's like I never run out of new things to start, but I also never run out of reasons to quit. The funny thing is, my reasons to quit always outnumber my reasons to start something noble.

Listening to the Pastor's message I thought to myself, hey maybe this is the reason why now at 27 years old I still have the silliest questions in life. I started things before that left me hanging.

Bad.

A lot of people would decide to run a race, some of them you expect to see win, only to find out that they're not even there at the finish line. The thought makes me guilty big time.


1. Sermon says: We must not be deterred by the lack of immediate results.

Beautiful Bullshit pleads guilty on this. I don’t know--- patience is a virtue I
do not possess. If I was a kid and you'd make me take the marshmallow test, I
would fail. Definitely. I want immediate results. If I want to lose 10 lbs, I
want to lose it overnight. Call me crazy, but don’t we all dream of the fastest,
quickest results? Slow is garbage.

2. Sermon says: We must not be deterred by major set-backs along the way.

Beautiful Bullshit pleads guilty again: If I pursue something, and I see some
close friends do the opposite, I completely forget my goals and go with the
flow (even if the flow OBVIOUSLY is going down the drain). Example? Smoking.
Duh.

3. Sermon says: We must not be deterred by the ridicule of others.

Beautiful Bullshit pleads guilty: Im gay, ok? What people think about me, what I
wear, how I fix my hair, among others, is a big issue for me. MAJOR as a matter
of fact. If I start a goal, and find myself ridiculed by others because it's
weird, or funny or cheap or ugly, I drop it.

So there. I realized I was doing it wrong, it's high time I change my ways. It's never to late to start something good really.

One of the biggest lessons that struck me was the sermon about perseverance and on finishing the race. I have learned that all of us are called to a race that we are supposed to finish.

I say it's totally fine to be human. We're not called to all be saints anyway. But it's never too late to start something good and finish it. I say I start with one noble goal at a time. God is always there so I'll be fine. :)

Squid sisig, anyone?

What if on a normal day, you wake up and realize that everything is gone?

It's payday today. Yeah, palakpakan ang mga gutom. :)

The moment I woke up, I immediately ran to my PC and checked my Unionbank online account. Indeed the pay was there so I made a few clicks to pay some bills and deposited money on my other account intended for savings.

I went out for a bit to grab something to eat coz I was starving. When I went back, I realized I forgot to pay one bill so I logged in to Unionbank online again only to find that there was 22 centavos left in my account.




Empty. My account was empty.

I panicked coz I was sure there was still some money left in there. I felt like I was robbed and I instantly had creepy thoughts of online scams and hackers and syndicates or what have you. Really I wouldve preferred if someone pointed a knife on my throat and ran away with all my money, coz then I would not have given in without one bloody fight. But this one is different. All my money gone and I don’t know who stole them.

I sat down wishing it was just a glitch in the website. Online traffic maybe, I don’t know. There could be thousands of other people checking their accounts online on the same website so there could be a good chance the website would fail at that moment.

I checked an hour after and fortunately everything is back. All the money is back in my account.

So there.

What if on a normal day, you wake up and realize that everything is gone?

Your family is gone.
Your money in the bank is gone.
Your friends are gone.
Your job is gone.
Your house and assets are gone.
Your clothes are gone.

I sat down bugged by the questions I asked myself. I wanted to avoid the whole thought of it but a part of me wanted to dig deep down.

Seriously. What am I when I have nothing?

(I think) the bitch is back and ready. :)

I'm working on a demo for something major. But unfortunately I have to do 5 cuts, no second-takes. Scary.

I need inpiration. I came accross this old video of the greatest voice of all and found more than the inspiration that I was looking for. She's a KILLER. :) Note perfect. Pitch perfect.

Come on people, hand me the music sheets. (I think) the bitch is back and ready. :)

My lifes been better since the day I left you boy
I must admit lifes been kind to me
I went and did the things I said I would do boy
I found someone who loves me for me
Havent had much drama since the day that we split boy
My hearts never been more at ease
And when I think of all the things you put me thru
Leaving you has been the best thing for me

But...

Why does it hurt so bad?
Why do I feel so sad?
Thought I was over you
But I keep crying
When I dont love you
So why does it hurt so bad
I thought I had let you go
So, why does it hurt me so
I gotta get you outta my head
It hurts so bad

Slouch

I only get to work 4 days this week instead of 5 since it will be the Independence Day Celebration in the US this July 3. One day vacation for me these days would mean a lot--- it could save my life as a matter of fact. I still have the biggest hang-over from the sick-leave I had last week coz I'd like to think I'm totally well but I had recurring headaches for the past couple of days reason for me to concede to the validation that I still need a lot of bed rest.

Missing Home. I miss home and the kids. I keep on looking at my nieces' and nephews' pics when it gets really lonely.

On Being Cared For. The other day, my Mom and Dad came to visit me here in the city and for the first time in the longest time I felt like their baby again. I have somehow forgotten feeling of being the one who was cared for by my parents.

Dumb. I have been out of the office for a week, and now Im back to work. I so want to be on top of my game this week, but I'm having quite a challenge at switching gears. I feel dumb actually. I'd like to think that this is just a phase, and I'd wake up next week to find myself back in perfect corporate shape.

Manager's Appreciation Award. This week aint all that bad. In fact I had the greatest come back last Monday when my bosses and colleagues surprised me with an awesome token of appreciation (and some cash, hehehe). I am pretty convinced now, and beaming with delight, at the amount of good karma that I'm able to burn-off on this seemingly thankless job. I thank you all for giving me this award, it means a lot to me really.

Bun's Home. Bunster's home from a long business trip in Bangkok and Singapore, and then a wedding in Davao. Crazy couple weeks that was for him, poor Bunster. But he's now back and (thankfully) AH1N1-free. We have scheduled a trip to Bantayan Island this weekend by the way, and I'm excited about the fact that this is going to be our first out of town trip together. *asus*

always Cosmo-cover worthy

Katrina Halili at Cosmo

Call me whatever, but I'm a big, as in BIG fan of Katrina Halili.

When I knew she was this month's cover girl for Cosmo, I immediately bought a copy. I just couldn’t wait to read the article Katrine Halili: On Hurt, Craving For Peace, And Her Fight For Women's Rights by Zo Aguila.

Good to see she is slowly moving on from the 2-month frenzy over those scandalous sex videos with Hayden Kho. Despite all the controversies, it's an awesome treat to see Katrina in good shape and always Cosmo-cover worthy.

I raise my venti cup--- To moving on.

I'm here at Starbucks with Matet, JJ and their friends. This is one of the places in the world I certainly would like to avoid. I'm sure I'd bump into you here. If I could avoid every bit of possible encounters I would have with you, I would do it. I don't hate you, I just don’t like the awkwardness of our encounters.

But today is different, it's not my show. The venue to which we were gonna have coffee is not something that I have to decide for myself now--- let Matet, the birthday girl decide.

So there I was, smiling, sipping coffee and listening to Rain's awesome stories about his hang-over of the Revenge of the Fallen.

I could feel, deep down, that you were coming.

The next thing I knew, I saw your silhouette from afar. Semi-spiked, brushed up hair, long-sleeves, denim pants. And even if you were like 100 steps away, I could still smell your Armani.

This place marked a special place in my heart. This was where I would usually find us on a Saturday night as you were trying to finish reading up a book you' were so dying to finish alas. And me? I would come at around 9-ish bringing a big bag fresh from the gym, and then I'd put it on the seat beside you, kiss you on the forehead. I would sit down almost the whole night just looking at the people pass by, or just looking at the stars from my seat, or reading the news. And at times I would just stare at you while you were busy reading. I would stare at you and never get tired adoring your eyes and your lips and how I was just too excited to have you on my own as soon as we go home.

Weekends were just about you and me.

I am now seated at this chair where we used to have that one fairy tale romance.

As you passed by you uttered one civil "hi", and I replied with a smile. As I look at you nearing towards the counter to order your usual soy latte, I realized how different we've grown after us. Looking at you now, it seems like I'm looking at a total stranger.

I look at you as a grown man. I am not here to continue on believing on the fairy tale we once started. I look at you no longer with loving eyes. I look at you as a man who has gracefully accepted that some things in this world are just not meant to be.

And if you could just hear my thoughts right now, you could hear me saying thank you. For the love you gave me. For the nights we shared together at this very place. For making me the happiest guy in the world at one point.

I raise my venti cup--- To moving on.

I'm so gonna grow my hair long back again. Cant wait

I ASKED MYSELF A MAJOR LIFE QUESTION A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

What's with this show called Boys Over Flowers?

It gets a little bugging when the rest of the world is talking about something you have no idea about. It's almost like I come from Mars and our great leader decides to throw me down to planet earth to learn the simple ways of life of the earthlings .

Let me regress.

Marsian story number 1: I was in the office and my cousin Adong and my friend Janeth were raving over the pictures of this certain Korean/ Taiwanese/ Chinese or whatever guy. I insatntly thought he was cute, the usual face you get to see in Asain Novelas (I don't watch them by the way, I get too annoyed at dubbed flicks).

Then everyone in the office starts to talk about the show called Boys over Flowers. I thought it was a porn movie about a group of boys going gaga over a certain girl's vagina. Turns out I'm just totally perverted coz Boys Over Flowers actually is the newest Asian flick shown every afternoon in the Kapamilya Network.

Marsian Story Number 2: I went down to smoke and heard a couple of girls talking about the same show

Marsian Story Number 3: At lunch break I heard 3 guys talking about it.

Anyway, I had the same agony after a few days from that when I heard my friends talking about a series of episodes, or the guys in the sauna room at the gym, or the janitors in the mall's restroom.

And my Marsian story went on and on and on.

I utter my mantra: Nothing Beats Gossip Girl. I'm sosyal. I'm sosyal. I'm sosyal.

Marsian story number x + 1: My boyfriend is in Bangkok now and the other day, I tried to talk to him via YM and I miss him terribly and he brushed me off coz he's busy watching "Boys Over Flowers".

And then I thought, that’s it! ENOUGH I SAID.

Finally, yesterday my roommate Marcial bought a Boys Over Flowers DVD and I didn’t have any other choice but to watch a few episodes. I was giggling like crazy I instantly recall the days when my bestfriend Rain and I would rave over Meteor Garden and shout "Dao Ming suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, I looooooooooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Now I'm hooked. And I'm having wet dreams romancing Lee Min Ho in sleep.

And I'm so gonna grow my hair long back again. Cant wait.

Memoirs Of A Still-In-Denial Aging Popstar

I downloaded Mariah’s new single Obsessed and I didn’t like it. At all. It sounded too processed it felt like eating canned goods for 2 straight months. It sounded like they entered it into a sound machine to come up with a distinct sound. Well it might have worked for Cher and Kanye West but really, it doesn’t justify enough to “process” Mariah’s voice. People!

Going back, the single will now be part of a new album called Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel. I know, I know---the album name sounds like a blog title of some random fag. Hahaha. Why not call this album “Memoirs Of A Still-In-Denial Aging Popstar”?

Heniweys, Mariah’s 12th studio album, "Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel," will be out on August 25 and for the first time I’m not excited.

I’m missing vintage Mariah. The one who had big teeth and whistled a lot. The one who sang ballads only she could render note-perfect. The one who sang those never-attempt-to-sing-this-at-American-Idol-else-you-blaspheme-the-great-mariah-and-you-loser-are-so-gonna-get-voted-off-tomorrow kinds of songs. That’s the kind of Mariah I want to hear again. Shes what? 30-something? She should be back to making the songs she’s really known for.

Just a word of advice from a big fan.

Karma's a Bitch

There’s something about having an awesome weekend that scares me. Almost always (and this is based on mere observation), every time I have a great time on a weekend, the weekdays that follow that would suck.


Today, I have conceded to the validation that this is indeed true. It world of karma has unfolding right before my very eyes again.


Karma Number 1: While I was at the bar, I went to the comfort room to check if I still looked okay. I was checking myself in the mirror when I noticed this black guy twice my size and twice my height went inside the cubicle. He left the door open. There was a point when I noticed that he wasn’t really peeing so I checked. There I saw him looking at me, his pants hanging so low below his knees that from my point of perspective it looked like he was just wearing a shirt and nothing else. And right before my eyes I saw his tool hanging between his legs and he smirked when he saw my reaction. I looked surprised at the size of his big tool and he seemed to enjoy my reaction. I, however, didn’t enjoy the experience of standing there frozen and unable to figure out what to do next. I was stood there, amazed, astonished, astounded, flabbergasted, dumbfounded, stunned and shocked at the size of his dick. It was more or less the size of a mineral water bottle, and to top that, he wasn’t hard yet. This guy's dick is undeniably the 8th wonder of the world!


As I stood there dumbfounded, he grabbed my hand and placed it in his tool, and his other hand was grabbing my shoulder. I’m a big guy but he was BIGGER that I felt like a rag doll under his control. I struggled to let go as he murmured “give me your number”. I immediately replied “I don’t have a phone”. Crazy coz my right had was holding my phone so I didn’t just look weak, I looked stupid. He then said “Since you’re not giving me your number, I’m just gonna follow you wherever you go then”. I stood there startled and unable to let go of his grip as it was as pointless as Mini-me fighting Dennis Rodman. The door opened and another guy came in. The black guy let go and went out while fixing pants.


Karma Number 2: I went home today after a toxic Monday shift. I had just 4 hours of sleep the other night so I promised myself one super long slumber. At around an hour after I heard noises in the roof. That was when I recalled that today the carpenter was supposed to drop by and fix the roof. He will be fixing the whole half day. I went to the gym instead coz I couldn’t satnd the banging and the clanging and all the construction worker conversation.


Karma Number 3: I went to the gym and spent some time to relax in the sauna. Prior to that, while I was preparing my towel and my undies, I noticed this guy came in. He was tall and VERY attractive, reminded me of Zanjoe Marudo actually. My gaydar told me the guy was straight so I didn’t pay much attention. I went to the sauna and spent like 10 minutes inside until the door opened and there Zanjoe entered wearing black trunks that hung below his awesome abs. He just stood so I also stood up. He was more or less 5’10”. I’m 5’7” so I stood there wearing my imaginary high heels (I usually do that when I’m with a guy taller than me). We spent the next 5 minutes just stealing glances at each other, reason enough for me to assume he’s gay. But then nothing happened and the steam was burning my cheekbones so I went out to douse off. When I came back, I was took a quick glance and was surprised to see his crotch area having what looked like a hard-on. I’m not good at situations like this so I spent the next 5 minutes not doing anything despite him throwing the naughtiest glances. After a few minutes, another guy came in. We were no longer alone in the sauna so I dropped the whole thing off.


Karma Number 4: I got a call from my sister in the US last night. We had the weirdest conversation coz I was really tired from work. She told me she was putting up an engineering firm and she’s hiring me. That meant one thing: I’m going to the US anytime soon. For good. Looks like someone is going to say “goodbye Pinas” anytime now. *sighs*


Karma Number 5: Hell week at work again. We are right at the last 2 weeks of the second sales quarter and my workload is crazy. I just got an email from IS Support earlier that I have exceeded my email storage. I have been getting tons of emails I don’t know which ones to answer first.


Karma Number 6: It’s 2 days away from payday and I am trying sooooo hard to budget what’s left in my wallet. You’ll find it amazing but I have P100. I ate earlier, spent P30 so I have P70 left. I bought 5 sticks of cigarettes and some snacks so I have P60. At one point a while back I said to myself “P60 should be enough--- it can last me till Friday morning and then by Friday lunch the pay would come in so I am right on track, woohoo Keith, good job!”. And then an announcement came. We were supposed to chip in P50 for an officemate’s birthday cake tomorrow. That now leaves me empty.



I am now sitting at my cubicle wishing it was payday and thinking of happy thoughts. Happy thoughts--- that’s all I have.

Digital Art

I am currently crushing on the idea of becoming a digital artist. I was looking at some really nice digital portraits online and it made me remember the time when I was making a living through making charcoal paintings wayback college. This is the perfect time to revive my interests in visual arts, but this time I plan to course it through by way of digital portraits. Coolness.

I was googling some online courses on Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator and immediately I came up with a lot of awesome ideas. This is going to be something that should keep me busy this weekend (and perhaps the most artistic way to divert my attention from food and booze).

And by the way--- Atan and Amita--- if you get to read this post, let me just inform you that I am missing our painting sessions like crazy. Let's do some again one of these days, shall we?

I still wish I was able to fit that cute white long-sleeved Dolce

After yesterday's shift, my cousin, JJ, Marie and I decided to go out and just explore the city. It's been months--- no, make it years--- since I went to the outskirts of Colon. We initially just wanted to purchase some cheap hair coloring products (coz a couple of days ago I kinda mentioned to JJ that there's this interesting store in Colon that purely sells just beauty products--- Like it's the God of all Watsons).

We ended up fitting clothes at the gazillions of Ukay-Ukay stores lined up at Colon Street. I got me some pretty interesting finds, but I still wish I was able to fit that cute white long-sleeved Dolce. Yes Dolce.

Grrr… It's time for one major weight loss regimen. Give me 2 weeks. I mean it.