I’m home—it’s Sunday and it’s around 3 in the morning. I went out earlier tonight for some beer with Josh and Davey, and then later after that I joined my cousin Adong to wash the beer off with some dance and good conversation.
My head hurts after having drunk a few bottles, and I bet I’m gonna have to puke in a bit.
My whole week has been crazy, and I didn’t really wanna go out.
My whole week has been crazy, and I didn’t really wanna go out.
But I don’t have a choice. Single men in their mid 20s like me usually do not have a choice. It’s either you go out and join the other equally lonely people or you stay in bed, watch TV and jog your memory and remind yourself at how big a loser you are.
Yes, I admit. I am a lonely guy in his mid 20s. In a few weeks I will be quarter a century and 2 years old, and things are still the same. When I was a kid, I was made to believe that the more you grow old, the more you find reasons to be happy. Now that’s bullshit. I practically have nothing to smile about these days. Being happy suddenly becomes the most difficult, painstaking thing in the world.
What’s a guy to do to be happy? Plant a tree? Smile at a stranger? Cuddle a kid? THAT’S COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT. I’d rather stay home and give my dog a blowjob.
A few remedies for me for now: my job, the gym, and going out.
The great thing about having a killer job and a killer schedule is that you forget how lonely life is. The one thing I like when I’m in the office with a gazillion things to do is when suddenly, the shadows of solitude that love to haunt me when I’m bored fade away. The same goes when I’m in the gym. It’s like morphine--- it takes all the pain away big time. And when I’m out, like in a bar or wherever, I get to appreciate myself. When I have all these men sniffing on me like they’re dogs and I'm an open can of dog food, it reminds me that I’m alive and that I am at the very least worthy of something.
Mornings for me are the hardest times. I work graveyard so I’m usually in bed at around 7-ish. When I’m in bed and I’m facing the white ceiling in my room, I get to be reminded that life is such an asshole and that happiness is only for the lucky few.
So there. Beer can sometimes be such a bitch coz I’m blabbing about my sentimental bullshit again.
Excuse me, gotta vomit.
