Rock Bottom

I’ve finally hit rock bottom.

When fate itself smacks you in the forehead and you wake up and see what really is going on, that’s hitting rock bottom.


When you want to cry, and your knees tremble from all the angst and not a single tear comes out of your eyes, that’s hitting rock bottom.


When you run out of hope and optimism on something that you used to believe in, that’s hitting rock bottom.


When you want to leave everything at once before the pain gets worse, that’s hitting rock bottom.


When you choose to just forget how deeply you prayed for something, or how hard you fought for it, and just move, that’s hitting rock bottom.


When you run out of what-ifs, what-could-haves and what-would-haves, that’s hitting rock bottom.


When you become someone so different from how you used to be, that’s hitting rock bottom.
And the good thing about hitting rock bottom it is when you start to pick up the bits and pieces of your broken self and you swear never to allow the same bullshit happen to you again.

Sex Around the World

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the
animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is
punishable by death.

(oo nga naman--- that totally makes sense, hahaha)

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In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but
is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He
may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(some people look better on their reflections--- bet vaginas are like that too)

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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also
applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered
with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick???)

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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Plead guilty: I was just scratching it!)

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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex
for the first time.

Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
this?)

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In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit
lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(You go girl!)

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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England but only in tropical
fish stores.
(But of course!)

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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the
act.
(Oh no..)

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In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
one exception: Condoms may be dispensed from a vending machine
only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam !)

You Changed My Life

I had just about 4 hours of sleep today.

Blame John Lloyd--- I sacrificed sleep just so I could watch You Changed My Life. I'd be losing more sleep if I didn't get to watch the movie the soonest so doing it today is a healthier option. I was on my way to the mall, half-awake and wondering why I'm putting up with all this mess. I was scratching my head, but I didn't really mind looking for answers anyway. Anything for John Lloyd.

Now I'm on my way home and I'm humming the song over and over again. I bet I'm gonna be humming it until the next John Lloyd flick---. I heard it's gonna be a gay-themed movie, and he's gonna star opposite Luis Manzano. Hot right?

Smiling On Ash Wednesday

I woke up this morning after sleeping for like a couple of hours. I have completely reengineered my weekly workout routine. I found out that I have more energy when I get to sleep for 2-3 hours right after work and before I go to the gym. What's nicer is, the gym is less crowded at these times so I have the machines all by myself, plus I get to have my favorite locker spot.

It's Ash Wednesday and a lot of my friends are planning to hear mass today. I want to, but I hate it when I got to church alone when it's crowded. We'll see.

It's Ash Wednesday and I find myself smiling because it's usually one point of the year that I realize summer's coming. Summer's the best point of the year for me. I may always say that Christmas is my most favorite season, but nothing really tops the joy of summer--- the beach escapades, the outfits, the tan, the booze--- everything about it makes my soul leap with excitement.

Maybe because all the best memories of my life were spent on a summer time. All the most beautiful memories of my childhood happened on a summer. As a kid, I used to spend summer at either my grandparents' ancestral home in the province or in my Aunt's place with all my crazy cousins. As a teenager, I remember just hanging out, having a good time with the trunges, Atan, Tope, Karen, Jazzy, Kristina and Roi.

And then of course I will never ever fail to mention the cherry on top of my Summer sundae--- my birthday! I'm not as excited about it as I used to when I was still a kid, but hey, there's just but a million reasons to celebrate each year. My birthday is always the best time to get soooooo drunk and sooooo full and not feel guilty about the next day for packing up a million calories.

This summer, I have tons of great stuff lined up for me. I have a trip to Palawan come the Holy Week-- take note, the WHOLE week! And then I have another trip to Camotes with my team. A trip to Bora with some old friends, a mountain trek with the Laagans. And I think I'm an inch near to having a relationship. Finally. Yes, s'matteroffact I'm super inspired. :)

Oscars---

I stayed up the whole Monday morning to watch the Oscar’s coverage. I was fighting off sleep and the urge to go elsewhere. Monday is still “technically” part of my days off so I either meaningfully spend it off sleeping or having a good cup of coffee at a my favorite coffeeshop.

Today is different. The Oscar’s is like the Superbowl of all the yummiest movies of the year, I cannot miss it. And this year, I was excited about who’s gonna grab the Best Actress Award. I’m torn between Anne Hathaway and Kate Winslet. Simply put, I’m torn between wanting to see the young ones like Anne win, or the nominated-for-the-millionth-time like Kate bag the crown at last.

My efforts finally paid off--- seeing Kate win is GOLDEN. Highlights for me--- Angelina and Brad both nominated for top awards, Heath Ledger getting an Oscar after his death, Hugh Jackman hosting and Slumdog Millionaire winning the Best Picture.

And then red carp some eye-candies for you---

Beer's a Bitch

I’m home—it’s Sunday and it’s around 3 in the morning. I went out earlier tonight for some beer with Josh and Davey, and then later after that I joined my cousin Adong to wash the beer off with some dance and good conversation.

My head hurts after having drunk a few bottles, and I bet I’m gonna have to puke in a bit.
My whole week has been crazy, and I didn’t really wanna go out.

But I don’t have a choice. Single men in their mid 20s like me usually do not have a choice. It’s either you go out and join the other equally lonely people or you stay in bed, watch TV and jog your memory and remind yourself at how big a loser you are.

Yes, I admit. I am a lonely guy in his mid 20s. In a few weeks I will be quarter a century and 2 years old, and things are still the same. When I was a kid, I was made to believe that the more you grow old, the more you find reasons to be happy. Now that’s bullshit. I practically have nothing to smile about these days. Being happy suddenly becomes the most difficult, painstaking thing in the world.

What’s a guy to do to be happy? Plant a tree? Smile at a stranger? Cuddle a kid? THAT’S COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT. I’d rather stay home and give my dog a blowjob.

A few remedies for me for now: my job, the gym, and going out.

The great thing about having a killer job and a killer schedule is that you forget how lonely life is. The one thing I like when I’m in the office with a gazillion things to do is when suddenly, the shadows of solitude that love to haunt me when I’m bored fade away. The same goes when I’m in the gym. It’s like morphine--- it takes all the pain away big time. And when I’m out, like in a bar or wherever, I get to appreciate myself. When I have all these men sniffing on me like they’re dogs and I'm an open can of dog food, it reminds me that I’m alive and that I am at the very least worthy of something.

Mornings for me are the hardest times. I work graveyard so I’m usually in bed at around 7-ish. When I’m in bed and I’m facing the white ceiling in my room, I get to be reminded that life is such an asshole and that happiness is only for the lucky few.

So there. Beer can sometimes be such a bitch coz I’m blabbing about my sentimental bullshit again.

Excuse me, gotta vomit.

Good Girl Gone Bad--- And Then Beaten

Confirmed: Bad things also happen to beautiful people.

Pictures of Rihanna bruised and badly beaten by Chris Brown are all over the internet. It certainly feels weird seeing all these pics after being so used to seeing Rihanna in perfection. What's weirder is the having to recall how cute they looked a couple of months back when they were a pair. It's just way too unexpected.

Oh well, this only goes to show that love and happiness is only for the lucky few, and it doesnt care if you're Rihanna or whoever.

Automated Confession

Single Ladies--- Talbog si Beyonce

Happy Valentines!

Happy Valentines , all...

Unsent

The only thing that keeps me going
Is also the only thing in this world that I am certain about---

That no prayer will ever be left unanswered...
One day, MY prayer will be answered.

Happy Valentines, Boink...

I Never Thought I'd Live To See The Day...

...when Rustom Padilla DIES---





---and transforms into BB Gandanghari.

Winning The Lotto

I've been hearing a lot about the latest 6/49 Lotto pot prize that has now reached 150 million. And since my place is just 2 houses away from a lotto outlet, I decided to try my luck.

I have actually made a bet before, but that was along time ago, and I was not the one who lined up--- I just waited at the nearest batchoy stand, had a giant bowl and half an hour later, my Kuya came back with my ticket.

This time it's different. I had to line up on my own along with a lot of other people who are just as hopeful to win the jackpot. It feels weird. The outlet was a small airconditioned room that smelled like feet, and there were about 50 men analyzing numbers and lining up to place their bets. It's cut throat island, and the last time I had this impression on a place was when I went to Philhealth to fix my lover's membership problems.

I don't know anything about the game. All I know is that i have 6 random numbers in my head. I couldn't care if there really was a way to "analyze" these things, like duh, if there really was a scientific way to know the lucky 6 numbers that would come up, then duh, snap me off from it coz I just don't have the time for that. And besides, my brain isn't really made for analysis, that I'm 100% sure.

And if I win the $150 million jackpot, then consider this my last post coz I'm so gonna go on long vacation.

25 Random Things About Me

I was tagged by Lem, Krisjohn and Gil , and I promised to do it over the weekend so here goes:

1. My name would have been “Lucas Pareja” but my parent’s changed their minds on the 11th hour.

2. They named me “Keith” instead to honor our pet cat “Kit” who gave birth the same day I was born on my mother’s wedding old dress. Until now, my folks would still say that I had a twin and it’s a cat. Yeah I know, it creeps me out big time, too.

3. I used to weigh 300 lbs in highschool and early college, I had a 44-inch waistline. I was BIG!

4. I started to lose weight when I left home to live on my own halfway through college, and totally lost it all off when I broke my heart after graduation.

5. As a kid, I used to have the biggest crush on Gino Padilla.

6. I do not own any white underwear. Not EVER.

7. And speaking of underwear, I have a “lucky underwear”, the one that I wear on job interviews, or very important meetings, or auditions. It’s not 100% lucky but it sure has gotten me through a lot of “sticky” situations.

8. I’m a chubby-chaser. Chubby guys are hot.

9. I have an addiction to cotton buds. I can’t sleep without cleaning my ears and I cant leave home without cleaning my ears (again). Weird.

10. I still have recurring dreams that I’m climbing a wall. I had that dream since I waS 12.

11. I almost died with this crazy diet that I designed. You just eat gummy bears and coffee for one week and you’ll be deliciously skinny after. J No I’m never gonna have that again.

12. I used to make charcoal portraits. I used to make good money from it wayback college. I’ve never drawn for almost 3 years now. My sketchbooks are all boxed up and neatly put away.

13. I am a loner much as I am a very sociable person. I prefer to eat alone, watch a movie alone, shop alone, bar-hop alone or whatever.

14. I have a long-lost half-sister that I have met for the FIRST time last year.

15. My most memorable scar is the one in my right knee. I had it when I had a fight with a kid coz we we’re fighting over who’s gonna be Gambit.

16. I own the biggest mirror in the office. How big is it? It's almost twice the size of my monitor.

17. I stopped schooling when I was in Grade 2 because of Ana Luna.

18. I sing in the treadmill. Loud singing.

19. The stupidest thing that I did as a teenager was using shampoo to brush my teeth.

20. When I read a book, I first read the last three chapters so I would know the ending. Yeah I know it’s weird but that’s the way I do things.

21. I have dreams of becoming a Senator, a tri-athlete and a soap-opera star. However, it is my ultimate dream to help save our planet and be an environmentalist one day.

22. I have a giant “tanday” at home, and I cannot sleep without it. I name it after my current lover, so it has changed names 8 times. I’m currently single, so my tanday is nameless.

23. I can’t sleep without lotioning my feet. It’s a habbit I got from Mon.

24. When I’m really really stressed, I go to church and cry. I find it really funny when I cry in church and people look at me and I show them the finger. Hahaha

25. My biggest weakness is Mathematics. Everyone in the family are math wizards except me. Dang, it's the one thing I need to fulfill my dreams of becoming a rocket scientist.

Happy Birthday, Winnie the Pooh!

Happy birthday Wineeeee!

Random Thoughts At Work

I am having the craziest week at work. And I'm having this in the midst of nursing a broken heart still. But then again, nothing that I can't handle. So...


GOD is too wise to be mistaken...
GOD is too good to be unkind...
so when you dont understand..
when you dont see HIS plan...
when you can't trace HIS hand...
HAVE FAITH AND TRUST HIS HEART.


:)

False Alarm

As I was half-asleep this morning, I took a glance at my phone to see if I had some important messages. It’s actually like my natural reflex to look at my phone the very second I wake up. I was still in that groggy state between wakefulness and sleep so my brain could only fathom fragments of words and names.


And then a text with the word “Valentine ‘s” caught my eye. Long message from an anonymous number. I almost jumped out from bed. Woah, someone is asking me out!!! Oh there must be a God! Or could this be good Feng Shui??


I read it again just to make sure. And then the text says:

Happy Valentines! May date man o wala, pwede kang manalo ng 100,000 sa Globe!
Just type Valentines (space) and send to 2366.

When Do You Know It's Over?

When do you know it's over with the one you love the most?

You know it's over when you go back to the arms of your best friend and admit that everything went out of control, and that you're back because you can no longer fight it alone.

Our bestfriends, the ones nearest to our hearts, know when exactly we're in deep shit.

Even when we don't talk about it, these people automatically would know that something's not right.

And no matter how we cover it all up, our bestfriends would find out. And with just one look, they assure you that things are gonna go just fine.

Thanks Rayn. Just knowing that you're there makes a world of difference.

Count Me Out. Let Me Be A Hermit This Year

It’s the first day of February, and as always people are raving about Valentine’s Day. All the happy single people have been putting up with the effort of looking for their right match, at least for Valentine’s--- you know, someone they can have some great conversation with, or maybe watch a Valentine movie with, or maybe dinner, or maybe have an awesome one-night stand.

Count me out. Let me be a hermit this year. I’ve had everything planned out already---- I will be spending my Valentine weekend alone at the beach. I have made my reservations already, and all I need is a nice bottle of sweet wine, 3 packs of Marlboro, a couple of romantic movies downloaded in my laptop, some nice board shorts, my camera and my snorkel. J I’m going back to my water-baby roots.

Now don’t get me wrong. If I had a choice, I’d spend Valentine’s with someone rather than just sulk down alone. I mean, nothing sounds better than having a hand to hold on Valentine’s Day . Last year was the greatest actually, my then- lover and I went to Clark and Manila, stayed at a nice hotel, ate like 20 times a day and had sex like pornstars.


I guess I’ve spent a lot of good Valentine’s in the past that there could only be bad one’s left. I hope not.