I wonder how my life would be if I was born straight.
I had this thought today when I met my Mom over to have lunch. I typically see her once every two weeks (or sometimes longer than that), but this month, I get to see her like every week. A while ago while the two of us were pigging out on lechon, she told me about one of our neighbors getting pregnant. And then she had her usual segway on me getting married and when, and having my own kids and finding that one person I can spend the rest of my life with.
At the back of my mind I retorted, "Mom, that would be VERY easy if I were born straight, but I'm not so---".
As always, I would usually answer her with a smirk. My Mom knows the whole truth about me being gay , and my dreams, even my love stories (and love failures). So if I could just tell her exactly what I was thinking that time, I would have mercilessly uttered "Mom, that would be VERY easy if I were born straight, but I'm not--- so I guess you'd have to settle on the fact that your son is taking the non-conventional route--- but don’t worry Mom, I'm having the time of my life--- seriously".
I sat down in bed trying to get some sleep. And then the questions start to creep in. What if I was born straight? Life would have been easier. No. Maybe life would be harder. I'm not sure.
What if I was born a girl? How would life be drooling over dresses made of lace? How would I look wearing pigtails and curls and ribbons and headbands? How would it feel to have menstruation? How many boyfriends would I have? How would it feel to talk with your girl friends on the telephone in the wee hours of the night talking about boys? How would it feel to walk in the beach wearing a bikini? At what age would I lose my virginity? At what age would I get pregnant? Will I ever get the chance to find my Romeo and settle down? How would he look?
But what if I was born a straight guy? How would it feel to enlist myself on a basketball team? How would it feel to bring a lady flowers? How would it feel to be in the same shower room with dozen other naked guys after a game? How would it feel to get so drunk after some random girl I fell in love with broke my heart? How many girlfriends will I have? How would it feel to become a Dad?
I wanna know, but that would be something that I could never fathom. I could read about it on Cosmo or Men's Health, but it would be like a 3-year old kid reading HTML language. I rest my case as I have conceded to the fact that I shall be forever unknowing of whatever is going on at the other side of the world.
I had this thought today when I met my Mom over to have lunch. I typically see her once every two weeks (or sometimes longer than that), but this month, I get to see her like every week. A while ago while the two of us were pigging out on lechon, she told me about one of our neighbors getting pregnant. And then she had her usual segway on me getting married and when, and having my own kids and finding that one person I can spend the rest of my life with.
At the back of my mind I retorted, "Mom, that would be VERY easy if I were born straight, but I'm not so---".
As always, I would usually answer her with a smirk. My Mom knows the whole truth about me being gay , and my dreams, even my love stories (and love failures). So if I could just tell her exactly what I was thinking that time, I would have mercilessly uttered "Mom, that would be VERY easy if I were born straight, but I'm not--- so I guess you'd have to settle on the fact that your son is taking the non-conventional route--- but don’t worry Mom, I'm having the time of my life--- seriously".
I sat down in bed trying to get some sleep. And then the questions start to creep in. What if I was born straight? Life would have been easier. No. Maybe life would be harder. I'm not sure.
What if I was born a girl? How would life be drooling over dresses made of lace? How would I look wearing pigtails and curls and ribbons and headbands? How would it feel to have menstruation? How many boyfriends would I have? How would it feel to talk with your girl friends on the telephone in the wee hours of the night talking about boys? How would it feel to walk in the beach wearing a bikini? At what age would I lose my virginity? At what age would I get pregnant? Will I ever get the chance to find my Romeo and settle down? How would he look?
But what if I was born a straight guy? How would it feel to enlist myself on a basketball team? How would it feel to bring a lady flowers? How would it feel to be in the same shower room with dozen other naked guys after a game? How would it feel to get so drunk after some random girl I fell in love with broke my heart? How many girlfriends will I have? How would it feel to become a Dad?
I wanna know, but that would be something that I could never fathom. I could read about it on Cosmo or Men's Health, but it would be like a 3-year old kid reading HTML language. I rest my case as I have conceded to the fact that I shall be forever unknowing of whatever is going on at the other side of the world.
But then, dont worry Mom. If you worry about me growing old alone and unhappy, I assure you it's gonna be otherwise the case.
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