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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I raise my venti cup--- To moving on.


I'm here at Starbucks with Matet, JJ and their friends. This is one of the places in the world I certainly would like to avoid. I'm sure I'd bump into you here. If I could avoid every bit of possible encounters I would have with you, I would do it. I don't hate you, I just don’t like the awkwardness of our encounters.

But today is different, it's not my show. The venue to which we were gonna have coffee is not something that I have to decide for myself now--- let Matet, the birthday girl decide.

So there I was, smiling, sipping coffee and listening to Rain's awesome stories about his hang-over of the Revenge of the Fallen.

I could feel, deep down, that you were coming.

The next thing I knew, I saw your silhouette from afar. Semi-spiked, brushed up hair, long-sleeves, denim pants. And even if you were like 100 steps away, I could still smell your Armani.

This place marked a special place in my heart. This was where I would usually find us on a Saturday night as you were trying to finish reading up a book you' were so dying to finish alas. And me? I would come at around 9-ish bringing a big bag fresh from the gym, and then I'd put it on the seat beside you, kiss you on the forehead. I would sit down almost the whole night just looking at the people pass by, or just looking at the stars from my seat, or reading the news. And at times I would just stare at you while you were busy reading. I would stare at you and never get tired adoring your eyes and your lips and how I was just too excited to have you on my own as soon as we go home.

Weekends were just about you and me.

I am now seated at this chair where we used to have that one fairy tale romance.

As you passed by you uttered one civil "hi", and I replied with a smile. As I look at you nearing towards the counter to order your usual soy latte, I realized how different we've grown after us. Looking at you now, it seems like I'm looking at a total stranger.

I look at you as a grown man. I am not here to continue on believing on the fairy tale we once started. I look at you no longer with loving eyes. I look at you as a man who has gracefully accepted that some things in this world are just not meant to be.

And if you could just hear my thoughts right now, you could hear me saying thank you. For the love you gave me. For the nights we shared together at this very place. For making me the happiest guy in the world at one point.

I raise my venti cup--- To moving on.

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